Momentary Fit Of Rage From Yeast

Greetings, readers of this unknown and rather dull blog (Who reads this stuff anyway?). I am Yeast. I'm temporarily taking over this blog while Paola the original author is dashing her head against the wall, muttering something about the stupidity of humanity. Which is something I wholeheartedly agree with. Not the self-mutilation of course, I mean the stupidity of humanity.

It seems that Paola found a short paragraph in her Biology textbook which seemed to upset her and it upset me too. Mind you, this is a textbook found and used in many human schools and held in as much respect as the Bible for science teachers. In this paragraph, which is included in a chapter about classification of living organisms, the author(s) states something so horrendous, so appalling, that I am deeply offended. May my fellow Yeast forgive this human for his ignorrance. I will not repeat this paragraph verbatim, not worrying about giving credit for Yeast cannot commit plagiarism (a rise in crime?) and also to protect the annonimity of the author.

"...humans have a gene that codes for myosin, a protein found in our muscles. Researchers have found a gene in yeast that codes for a myosin protein. As it turns out, myosin in yeast helps enable internal cell parts to move. Myosin is just one example of similarities at the molecular level -- an indicator that humans and yeasts share a common ancestry."

For you humans who did not catch the most flagrant slur in the passage I will point it out to you.

"...humans and yeasts share a common ancestry..."

Are you shocked yet?

To think that you, yes you humans, you despicable tyrants who use and abuse, who leave men and women and children dying in foreign countries, who murder your unborn, who take advantage of and exploit fellow human beings, you humans could be related to we noble Yeast? Disgusting. We Yeast are a noble organism who everyone loves to be around (Hey, I'm a fungi), who are so necessary for only the most important staple of your diet, bread and beer, who have never done any harm to anyone, we be related to you humans? I am ashamed. How can we Yeast, plant-like organisms share a common ancestry with you?

What I find more ridiculous than this slur on our reputation is the natural logic that the author uses to arrive to this point.

Humans have myosin, Yeast has myosin, therefore they must be blood-brothers, or at least third cousins twice removed?

Is it customary for respected scientists of your human species to make such wild accusations without proper logic and reasoning? Or does he usually spout such horrendous things along with "That cat is very nice and likes to have his whiskers pulled. That tiger looks like a cat. Therefore he must enjoy having his whiskers pulled."

I must tend to Paola, seeing as how she has made herself unconscious.
Sincerely,
Yeast